Hiya. Long time no post. Oh, well, I’m back now anyhow.

The last two weeks was our holiday and I got to read quite a few books. Nick Hornby and Erlend Loe are two of my favourite authors, so I read High Fidelity, Fever Pitch and Slam by Nick Hornby, and Fakta om Finland (Facts about Finland) by Erlend Loe.

I have to say, I find these two authors strikingly similar. Well, perhaps not strikingly, but I do see some resemblances. They are both men around the same age, and they write about every day characters, mostly men (although they have both written, to my knowledge, one book each where the main character is a woman) who goes through some personal issues in regards to coping with life.

The books can seem trivial because of their everyday aspects, the mundane details and the slightly naivistic (Loe more so) style of writing, but they are both in the text itself and inbetween the lines dealing with topics that most people can recognize in themselves. Everything from insecurity and low self esteem to love and death is delt with in Hornby’s and Loe’s books.

I have now read all Hornby’s novels (and one non-fiction, his autobiography) and four of Loe’s novels so far, and I have really enjoyed them all. So far my favourite Hornby book is How to be Good and my favourite Loe book is L. (Interestingly enough, both those books were the first one I read of the respective authors).

If you are looking for a book that can deal with both trivial and profound topics in one and the same book, involving both humor and a easy-to-read language, I would advice reading Hornby or Loe. They are both brilliant. (For English speakers: From Erlend Loe, only Naive. Super is translated into English.)

I find it important to take responsibility for ones actions – or lack of such – even when that means shying away from all the “shoud-do’s”. Sometimes, when I talk about not eating meat from the meat industry, I get the respones such as: “Oh, I could never do that!” or “I could never manage without my Christmas turkey!”. Saying “I could not” takes away the personal responsibility, because if something is impossible to you, it’s not your fault, right?

To say “I choose to eat meat” is fair enough. That’s being honest. My point here is not that everyone should choose to not eat meat, but that people are aware that it actually is a choice – a choice you and I make every time we go into the grocey store and decide whether we are buying the chicken or not.

The same goes for mostly everything else in life, as I see it. Of course, we all have our boundaries, whether they be physical or mental. Some boundries are things we really can’t do anything about, and some boundaries can be pushed over time. And it is ok to not push them – as long as everyone is aware that we choose not to do so.

This is a rather demanding way of living, as that means that everything I do – or don’t do – is according to my own choice, and I can’t blame that on anyone else than myself.

I love music. Or, to be more exact, I love certain songs. I want to share some of my absolute favourites here on this blog.

First one up is “The Loner”, by Gary Moore. Sit or lay down comfortably, turn of the lights and close your eyes. My brother had this album and I used to lie down in one of our comfy chairs and just listen. This song takes me far, far away, and it almost always leaves me in tears.

I can no tell how wonderful it was for me to find this one on YouTube.  (I didn’t even know there existed an official video to it).

Sometimes I make choices that some of my friends and family might not understand - or might not even like. Sometimes I might even do
something that is right for me and which might make someone dislike me or my actions.

Should that make me not do it? If my actions can lead to an uncomfortable
confrontation, should that be the reason alone for not doing it?

Doing what’s easy and comfortable for the people that surround you is safe. It’s
scary to question that, and to find out that what is right for me
and the direction I am heading might lead me to break with those safety standards.

People might disagree with me, or even dislike me. And that is ok.

Today was Buy Nothing Day in Europe (or: all other parts of the world except North America). So here are some of my thoughts and reflections that I had today.

I was on my way to work today, so I had bought myself lunch yesterday instead
of buying something expensive and unhealthy at 7-eleven or a similar place.  I usually listen to my mp3-player when I take the bus to work and lectures, but I had lost it at uni earlier this week, so I didn’t have that to occupy me on the one hour and fortyfive minutes long drive each way (two busses + waiting).

So I spent the time thinking about my consumption, which – after all – this day was meant for (at least that’s how I see it). It is not a big sacrifice for me to withold the mallshopping; make-up, lotions, clothes, accessories etc. I only rarely use make-up and lotion, and I only buy them once every other year or something similar. I buy clothes whenever I really need them, maybe once or twice
a year, and I don’t really spend anything on accessories either.

My big weakness is chocolate. I buy too much chocolate and soda. Especially now around exams. That is consumption just as much as buying make-up and lotion is consumption. Funnily enough, it’s the idea of the environment and the consumption that makes me want to stay more away from chocolate, not the health risks.

So today I started the process of reducing my chocolate consumption. I don’t need lotions, make-up and clothes to feel happy, so I gather I don’t need chocolate for that either.

I have just watched the movie “The Mission” from 1986 with Jeremy Irons and
Robert de Niro. This post isn’t about the movie in particular, but about what
feelings and thoughts movies of that kind gives me.

I have - over the years - seen a couple of movies portraying the European
imperalism, not to mention been to uni lectures regarding the subject.
For some reason, there are few things that angers me as much as the
European imperalism. I do not know why it is so, but the arrogance
displayed by the Western way of thinking makes me sick to the bone.
I also feel almost the same when it comes to the capitalistic thinking
where profit and economic growth has turned animals into products
and nature into an endless resource.

The capitalistic and imperialistic thoughts has given us loads of
luxury and profit. But what have we lost along the way? When I see
how we exploit earth, humans and animals for an eternal search
after more and more growth, money and luxury, it makes me want
to step away from it all. I honestly don’t want to be a part of the
modern Western culture, built upon greed, selfishness and arrogance.

Seeing those kind of movies makes me upset and angry. Yet it is a good
thing, because it takes me one step further away from the things in our
culture I despise, and one step further on the path I want to go.

As we live in a complex and many-layered society, there are many people, themes and forces that affects us every day. Even if we don’t consider it or want to believe it, we are affected constantly by our surroundings. Of course, we do the same to those around us.

Now, what affects us partly decides our thinking processes. I.e., if we hang around with people which is very occupied with politics and we are in an environment where politics are debated daily, there will probably be a significant  part of our brain activity concerning politics. Thoughts, philosphies, debates etc. Similarily, if we are in an environment where there is a lot of focus on fashion, for instance, we will spend quite a lot of time shopping for clothes, reading fashion magazines, talk about shopping and fashion etc.

This all means that whatever environment we choose to stay in will also affect much of our thoughts. So will our job situation, and our freetime activities (TV, newspapers, games, books, friends, walks etc etc). Spending our day chitchatting with our colleagues at work, before talking about fashion and the weather with a friend on the telephone before spending our evening watching game shows on TV will greatly affect what kind of thoughts occupy our mind.

If we fill our lives with chitchat and easy entertainment, there isn’t much room for philosphy, religion or other kinds of more serious and heavy subjects. Similarily, if we fill our lives with politics, world problems and philosophy, there won’t be much time or frame of mind to spend on entertainment and relaxation. Our thoughts affects who we are as a person.

What I find important is realizing that we are shaped by our surroundings, and I therefore also find it important to fill my life with those things and people that will leads me towards that I find meaningful.

It’s interesting to note the different kinds of replies I get from people when I mention the fact that I don’t eat meat. It is not something I blurt out after saying “Hi,” but when the subject of food or dinner habits are brought up, I mention it when it seems like a natural thing to do.

Some people just nod and continue the conversation, like it’s the most natural thing to hear, which makes me happy and comfortable. Some people ask questions, some people starts coming with explanations for why they themselves eat meat, and some people give me the phrase “Oh, I could never eat stop eating meat!” – it’s the latter group I want to discuss in this blog post.

I do not tend to believe that I can know how other people think or feel, but I have said and meant those exact words myself. Only four or five years ago, I would say that I understood and agreed with those who stopped eating meat, but I would never be able to do it myself. Meat was simply to integrated in my habits and way of life – not to mention very tasty!

This is something I am tempted to answer when I get the “I could never…”-comment – to let them know that I have been there myself and to show them that there is a choice even when you think there aren’t. Now, saying that you don’t want to quit eating meat is an honest reply – and I would never try to inforce my views upon those who aren’t interested. But I do believe that those who say they aren’t able to quit, that it is simply not possible, aren’t aware of the fact that it’s simply not true. I have experienced it myself.

The problem is that this is a slightly sensible subject for some – the line between information and preaching is very, very fine. And I’m afraid that mentioning my experiences with the matter would be considered “preaching”. We are so afraid of being “preached at”, that clearing up a misconception is enough to be seen as a propagandaist. That makes me sad.

I do believe that most people who eat meat have a) not taken a conscious and well-thought descision to do so and b) is not aware of the conditions the animals live in and what effects our high consumation of meat have on the environment. But how can we let people take a conscious choice if we can’t even inform them of facts and experience without being labelled “preachers”? Is it a defence mechanism so that people don’t have to take what we have to say into account? Are many people afraid of information and knowledge that might force them into reconsider their safe and well-known way of life? And how can we explain this -and other aspects relating to industry meat – without coming across as preachers or know-it-alls?

My thoughts on the problem of overpopulation and how to solve the environmenal crisis in the long run…

We are too many people on this planet. There isn’t enough resources on the Earth to feed everyone – at least not at the level of luxury we indulge ourselves with here in the West.

I personally do not believe that capitalism and liberalism is the key. As far as I see it, those two ideologies are two of the reasons why we have this situation with environmental and humanitarian crisis that we have today in the first place. Neither do I believe that socialism is the answer. It hasn’t worked earlier, and I don’t see why it should work now.

So what alternatives do we have? Personally, I don’t think technology is they key. Too many things can go wrong in a high-tech, sci-fi future. And I can’t see how that should benefit Earth and the human race either. I believe the best solution we have is eco-villages and other kinds of small communities. I do not think large, urban cities are natural and well-functioning conditions for the human being to thrive in. So both for the sake of the environment, and for the human race, I believe we should live in smaller, largely self-sustained, communities.

This is where I am at so far. Maybe I will change my mind later, or maybe I will find this idea better and better along the way. Either way, I will strive towards the goal of being self-sustained. I am not there yet, by far, and I am not even sure that is an obtainable goal. But it is my ideal way of life as I see it now.

There are more than one way to look at “idealism” and “the ideal life”. I always strive to fulfill my ideals, to reach my goals of how I view my ideal life to be. Being consistent is important. First and foremost to be true to yourself, but also because you don’t get any credibility or respect from others if you aren’t. The problem is, if you search long and hard enough, extremly few people are truly consistent.

“How can you use a PC when you are so focused on the environment?”

“What’s the point of not eating meat - you kill insects every day by just walking!”

On a more realistic level, I do agree about the incosistency of preaching about animal welfare and being vegetarian if one eats meat every now and then.  Or saying one hates caged animals when one has a rat or mouse in a cage sitting next to ones couch. But I have lately come to understand idealism - and thus consistency - a bit differently. (Much credit goes to my significant other for this, he was the one who made me aware of seeing these issues in a new perspective).

Idealism can be just that – the ideal. Meaning that the ideal might be a goal that is unreachable, either because it is not possible or because one doesn’t want to reach it. But it is a goal to strive towards. It can, of course, also be a reachable goal, but it is still in the future.

So, let’s say that my ideal goal would be to live in the forest, completely self-sufficient, not relying on the indutstrial way of life anymore.

Is that what I really want? Is it even possible? The answer to both those questions are: I don’t know. And I am far from living that way now anyhow (if I did, this blog wouldn’t exist, would it?). But having that as an ideal goal to strive towards, I am in a constant process to change the parts of my life that is not keeping with my ideals.

That example might be seen as rather extreme, though. So let me take a more close-to-home ideal that I meet everyday: Not eat industry meat, dairy products or eggs. I am not there yet, as I still buy some products that contain milk, and I buy ecological milk and eggs.

So one could argue the point that I am being inconstent. But I see it more as being in the process of reaching the goal of not eating industrial-produced animalistic food. As long as I am actually in this process, and do not stagnate somewhere, I do not have a problem with it.

This view has made me relax a bit more, and to be at ease with where I am and the choices I make. It has also made me more conscious.